i just know it's true

the darkness of the night has fallen upon the buildings outside. inside the artificial sun has just risen. it is artificial because it pulls no one toward it. no one except the moths, who choose to be fooled. no gravitational pull. no attraction. not like the real sun outside. on a sunny day, you feel yourself turn your head toward the sun. like the flowers, the plants, the cat lazing on his back in the midday sun, you raise you neck and close your eyes and turn your face to bask in its warm light. this doesnt happen with the artificial sun that keeps us up all the night. an artificial sun, so we may ignore the beauty of the moon. the mystery of the stars. and the noise. it seems that one forever must have some noise about oneself. as soon as the tv is off, the radio comes on. even your laptop makes sounds. the keys clicking, the motor whirring. and all around the muffled voices of your neighbours. people whose lives are playing out so close to your own. whose daily habits you learn to expect, without ever knowing their faces. you know how your neighbour screams at his wife, but you could have passed him in the parking lot, and his would have been just another one of the empty faces you choose not to see. choose to ignore. or perhaps choose is the wrong word. have no reason to notice. an old man swayed on the sidewalk the other day. whether he was drunk, or just so old that he couldn't walk straight, i don't know. the crowds pushed around him, anxious to cross the road. your first instinct was to shirk away from him. as if you might catch something off of his unwashed clothes, his matted hair. as i crossed the street, i stopped and turned. maybe a moment of humaness, if that's even a word. but no, i looked at him, i turned and i kept going. he was just another homeless man. he must be alright, must be just another homeless person. nothing on the television said that there was a homemore man who died of a heart attack on the side of the road while pedestrians walked around him. because nowadays we use the tv to tell us whats happening in the world we exist in. hurry home from our walk in the park, so we won't miss the programme about the leaves falling from the trees. things are only real if they're shown through a square. try it. try cupping your fist into a cylinder and looking at the world through it. for some reason, it feels more real. why? i don't know. i just know it's true.