Mr. Time Waster Himself

It never ceases to amaze me, coming up to exams, how amazingly talented most people are at NOT studying. Apparently, for many college students, sitting in the library can be equated with studying in the library. Of course, I'm really not one to talk as, in times of need, I can be extremely inventive when it comes to finding ways of not hitting the books. Trying to study at home for me is a lost cause because, for some unknown reason, it suddenly becomes so incredibly important to do something as trivial as my washing! I mean there could be nothing in the bottom of the laundry bag but a pair of socks, but I will make it my business to FIND other things, ANY other things, that could be washed. For reasons beyond my control, hygiene seems to become a much more serious issue coming up to exams. So, it appears, does dusting, polishing, vaccuming, and sorting my cd's into order both alphabetically and chronologically. Of course, it takes a few hours to realise that just might be impossible...but not to worry, because by that stage its time to start cooking dinner. And as everyone knows, you should give yourself plenty of time to cook your standard 5 course evening meal. Sure I do this every day of the year!

Today, while sitting in the library, and actually studying might I add (because I am a mature, level headed, graduate now)..I was lucky enough to come back from the bathroom to find that Mr. Time Waster himself had taken up residence in the chair next to mine. It was an interesting few hours I must say, because I do believe that I have found the one person who just might be able to beat my friend Richard at wasting time!

He started out motivated enough. Highlighter pen at the ready. Photocopied article in front of him. Bent over the desk, furiously highlighting what seemed to me to be every single word on the page. Apparently though this seemed to be requiring him to expend more energy than his bowl of weetabix had given him, and after 5 mins or so, he laid the highlighter down and stretched. The sort of stretch you'd do after a 5 mile run, or a 5 hour exam...or seemingly a 5 minute highlighting session. Whoever said highlighting isn't a sport should talk to Mr. TW!
Time for a break evidently. And after a half hour chat with a friend of his, who I presume was also "studying" for the day, Mr. TW disappeared for a good hour only to return with a bottle of Sunny D and a box of revels. After spending an unnecessarily long time opening the box of revels, and sipping from his Sunny D, Mr. TW decided a spot of textual socialising was in order...proceeding to send texts to what seemed to be every single person in his phone book. *Sigh* job well done. Crisis averted. He found out what to put on that massive spot on his nose. Now it was time for a nap. So he lay his head on the table, on top of his highlighted article, and dozed off for 15 minutes or so. Nothing too long mind you. Not at all! Just a power nap! Sure, Margaret Thatcher SURVIVED on them! Just a little kip to keep the overactive brain cells on their toes. Everyone knows that an alert and keen mind is EXACTLY what is needed when one decides to pick at ones elbow for 20 minutes. Oh yes, after his nap, Mr. TW seemed to find some sort of scab on the tip of his elbow. I don't know, as I really couldn't bring myself to look. Don't know whether he got it off or not, I was too busy vomiting into my handbag.

After a while, I packed up my things, and headed home. While walking away from the desk, I turned around, and I swear to God, Mr. TW was stretching himself across the ENTIRE length of the desk he now solely occupied, smiling to himself and seemingly relishing the fact that NOW he could have a proper nap! Because THAT was the problem with his study technique!